1. Don't start the meeting until everybody has arrived. Beginning a meeting on time would be rude to those who are late. Plus beginning a meeting late helps everybody feel more comfortable about being late upcoming time, which almost assures you will start the meeting late every time.
2. Never ever have an agenda! Agendas create structure that can suffocate tangents.
3. Leaders should do most if not all of the talking. Since s/he knows best therefore it would make the most sense that s/he speaks the most.
4. Invite everyone. You would not want to injure anyone's emotions by not adding them. However, be cautious about inviting individuals who might try to accomplish something during the meeting. Nevertheless, make sure you invite people who tell good jokes, like to goof around and are generally entertaining.
5. Only those with "good" thoughts should provide them. Others who submit a "stupid" concept should be laughed at, mocked and generally spit upon.
6. Give individuals liberty to "multitask" throughout the meetings. Let everyone know at the start of the meeting that if they need to do other things such as answering calls, texting, reading email or talking to other bosses to go right ahead. It will make the meeting all the more successful for everybody.
7. If you are key decision maker/tie breaker/boss/moderator then guarantee that you attend a meeting just for 5 min randomly, inform organizer to start meeting and carry on without me, I will join later.
8. Never make tasks. It means job will need to be finished.
9. Ensure that meeting doesn't end on time.
10. Ask people for their evaluations and then tell them what you were going to do anyway, that's a actual great way to shut anyone up.
11. Never commit to anything, that way no one can be held accountable
12. Don't recap any preceding meetings, that way you can keep talking about the same things from one meeting to other meeting
13. Evaluate the crap out of everything, that way you can avoid trying implementation
14. Have the meeting between office hours
15. Provide relaxed seating, so that people do not feel uneasy even after many hours.
16. Provide catered meal, drinks, snacks.
17. Hand out potato chips in small sealed bags.
18. Always include external consultants, coaches & mentors.
19. Ensure everyday meetings.
20. Avoid commitment driven assignments.
21. Never assign accountability for anything.
22. Never maintain minutes of meetings.
23. Make sure attendance is mandatory.
24. Encourage the circular argument
25. It's best if everyone is exceedingly hyper-polite so that a couple of good things can happen a- Alternative points of view are withheld until the post-meeting hallway conversations begin else there's the risk of enhancing any decisions made during the actual meeting, B-Any self-indulgent ramblers in attendance can entertain the captive audience without being nudged back on topic.
26. Stand up and say you have one question for the team. The question is why are we constructing products or offering services that nobody wants at a price and no one is ready to pay? You will never be asked back. Positively!
27. Be sure that everyone has their palmtop/cell/iphone/blackberry/laptop on so the team knows who is important.
28. Don't ask anyone to silence their cell phones/ messengers/PDA, so when they ring or alert that there is a message or call they can answer it while in the meeting.
29. Scatter extension cords around so people can plug in laptops and ensure cellphone signals are available in the room where you are doing the meetings.
30. If you are meeting organizer then read your mail to the group, good chance half the information won't apply and people love having you read your mail in front of them
These are a few which I could validate and remember based on my knowledge if you would like to add any new time wasting technique on project feel free to add.
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